I was at Target Meijer somewhere last night (hey, it was late), and I remembered that Elijah asked if he could plant some flowers by the mailbox. I headed straight for the plants potted in plastic, and on my way over, a little naggy voice started whispering, "if you were really a good mom, you would buy seeds for him to plant…all the other homeschool moms let their kids plant from SEEDS. Real seeds."
I felt twinges of panic encompassing every inch of my being…"you’re a bad mom…you don’t come close to the other homeschooling moms…you don’t even buy real seeds…"
Ms. Mom Guilt had zapped in to rob my joy (once again). She’s a liar. She’s a thief.
I had a lot on my list in my head last night. My sister will be in from Seattle on Monday and her birthday was yesterday (so a party will be in order), Simon’s birthday is Monday, my cousin’s wedding is Saturday (and my birthday is Saturday, too!). So, I was pleasantly surprised when I actually remembered to pick up a tea-time treat. I found some Almond Biscotti dipped in chocolate and thought that would be fun.
Then, she had the nerve to show up again! "If you really had what it took, you’d make your own biscotti. Tea-time treats should be homemade (as all good homeschooling moms know)."
I was tired. Really tired. Too tired to think about homemade biscotti. Maybe that played to my advantage at midnight last night.
I looked Ms. Mom Guilt straight in the eyes, and said, "I am doing the best I can. I will NOT let you or me or anyone else make me feel guilty for what I’ve decided (by the grace of God) to do with MY children."
At this point you probably either
~think I’m nuts~ OR ~know exactly what I’m talking about~
As moms we are in seemingly no-win situations sometimes.
Do I do the dishes (and have a clean house…because after all, ALL stay at home moms should have clean houses…what else do you do with your day?) ?
OR
Do I take the kids outside to enjoy this beautiful day (because, after all, no child should be left inside)?
It really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. Just in case you didn’t get that, let me just say (one more time), IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER.
What does matter is that your children see you pursuing God.
What does matter is that your children see you loving your husband.
What does matter is that you have a dynamic relationship with your children– you know them and they know you.
The rest is just jellybeans.
The next time Ms. Mom Guilt comes sneaking around, trying to grab your joy (or all that’s left of your sanity)…tell her that God gave you these children and you will not compare yourself to other moms, you will not be manipulated into doing something you don’t need to be doing, and that YOU (by the grace of God) are quite capable of doing what’s right for these little ones that you love with all your heart.
Goodbye Ms. Mom Guilt,
I am really late here, looking at the date. But this is exactly what i need TODAY. I just spent a few minutes (or an hour) last night (and apparently this afternoon too-ahem) looking at homeschool blogs and feeling terrible because my husband's work schedule is not conducive to lots of field trips, we don't have a car or money to take my kids everywhere, and i don't have 5 acres for them to run around. Envy was (is?) kicking my rear end. Terrible homeschool mother. My kids are getting the short end of the stick. How can i believe that i value the quality of their lives and education. Ms. Guilt is heavy on the drama in my head. This post reminded me that it's all non-sense. Knowing that no matter how much you do, it will never be enough if you let yourself buy into the comparison guilt trip, is a great relief. Thank you.